Higtonkdin is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, confident turtle.

Higtonkdin created the Whirlpool Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Higtonkdin, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Higtonkdin, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Higtonkdin's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Higtonkdin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never write about moons.

3. Always make sure there are no cats in a room before entering it.

4. Hide from purple ducks for they are unholy.

5. Never talk about stars.