Ruttjamnatkad is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, thoughtless rat.

Ruttjamnatkad created a top quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Ruttjamnatkad, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Ruttjamnatkad, she will refuse to believe in you.

Ruttjamnatkad's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Ruttjamnatkad's Holy Commandments

1. Ruttjamnatkad must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never think ill of sick goats.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

4. Never write about asteroids.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.