Joncabstercam Funxemgar is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, irritating faun.

Joncabstercam Funxemgar created the world three billion years ago.

If you believe in Joncabstercam Funxemgar, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Joncabstercam Funxemgar, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Joncabstercam Funxemgar's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Joncabstercam Funxemgar's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large gold sculpture of Joncabstercam Funxemgar on top of all buildings.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Do not drink water in purple rooms.

4. Do not wear silicon on your body.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.