Kinyattontsom is a god.

It takes the form of a small, omniscient dog.

Kinyattontsom created dark matter nine million years ago.

If you believe in Kinyattontsom, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Kinyattontsom, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Kinyattontsom's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Kinyattontsom's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

2. Do not shave your face.

3. Put Kinyattontsom first in all things.

4. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

5. Never think about gravity.