Titlabten Flathudzenlarn is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, awe-inspiring centipede.

Titlabten Flathudzenlarn created oxygen three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Titlabten Flathudzenlarn, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Titlabten Flathudzenlarn, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Titlabten Flathudzenlarn's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Titlabten Flathudzenlarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt manatees.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Always help sick nematodes.

4. Never talk about gravity.

5. Never feed onions to snails while wearing fawn boots.