Yastzossyenlen is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, annoying hamster.

Yastzossyenlen created the Black Eye Galaxy two million years ago.

If you believe in Yastzossyenlen, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Yastzossyenlen, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Yastzossyenlen's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Yastzossyenlen's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Do not kill swans.

4. Never paint your head green.

5. Never think about amino acids.