Figpittik is a god.
It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, annoying aardvark.
Figpittik created the planet Jupiter eight billion years ago.
If you believe in
Figpittik, it will grant you eternal life.
If you do not believe in
Figpittik, it will be very sad.
Figpittik's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.
Figpittik's Holy Commandments1. Never mention goats.
2. Never think ill of sick porpoises.
3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Figpittik.
4. Never feed peanuts to gulls while wearing cyan dresses.
5. Figpittik must be the most important thing in your life.