Jamflabmot is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, grumpy seal.

Jamflabmot created Europe nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jamflabmot, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Jamflabmot, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Jamflabmot's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Jamflabmot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair indigo.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Jamflabmot.

4. Never hurt manatees.

5. Do not chop down trees.