Sisfadbarnnurtstragnegfem is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, loving cow.

Sisfadbarnnurtstragnegfem created humanity nine million years ago.

If you believe in Sisfadbarnnurtstragnegfem, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Sisfadbarnnurtstragnegfem, she will come to you in dreams.

Sisfadbarnnurtstragnegfem's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Sisfadbarnnurtstragnegfem's Holy Commandments

1. Bats are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Do not kill great tits.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Do not wear platinum on your body.

5. Never look at planets.