Sagtofmab is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, fast zebra.

Sagtofmab created a strange quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Sagtofmab, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Sagtofmab, it will turn you into a sheep.

Sagtofmab's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Sagtofmab's Holy Commandments

1. Put Sagtofmab first in all things.

2. Retreat if five mice approach from the south.

3. Worship no other gods but Sagtofmab.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.