Mitkapyarp Bemstafgud is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, calm mole.

Mitkapyarp Bemstafgud created dark matter nine million years ago.

If you believe in Mitkapyarp Bemstafgud, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Mitkapyarp Bemstafgud, it will turn you into a mouse.

Mitkapyarp Bemstafgud's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Mitkapyarp Bemstafgud's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat geese with great respect.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a room before entering it.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate cats.

5. Always stare at clouds.