Satlittaf is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, tiresome rat.

Satlittaf created water three million years ago.

If you believe in Satlittaf, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Satlittaf, she will turn you into a mole.

Satlittaf's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Satlittaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never hurt goats.

4. Do not drink water in violet rooms.

5. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.