Rulflambed is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, pitiless dog.

Rulflambed created the Cigar Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rulflambed, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Rulflambed, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Rulflambed's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Rulflambed's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. You must love Rulflambed.

4. Do not wear nickel on your body.

5. Do not drink alcohol.