Futwikyok is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, bad-tempered swan.

Futwikyok created energy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Futwikyok, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Futwikyok, he will turn you into a mole.

Futwikyok's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Futwikyok's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate horses.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Erect a large silver sculpture of Futwikyok on top of all buildings.

5. Do not drink alcohol.