Hakhamflab is a god.

It takes the form of a small, almighty bird.

Hakhamflab created the world eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hakhamflab, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Hakhamflab, it will strike you with lightening.

Hakhamflab's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Hakhamflab's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip near birds.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate manatees.

4. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.