Yarlaptig is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, impressive hyena.

Yarlaptig created an electron four million years ago.

If you believe in Yarlaptig, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Yarlaptig, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Yarlaptig's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Yarlaptig's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Yarlaptig.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.