Bedlakvedkanominfadnut is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, emotional pig.

Bedlakvedkanominfadnut created an electron twelve years ago.

If you believe in Bedlakvedkanominfadnut, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bedlakvedkanominfadnut, she will boil you in a big pot.

Bedlakvedkanominfadnut's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Bedlakvedkanominfadnut's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip near tapirs.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Run away if seven mice approach from the north.

5. Always obey Bedlakvedkanominfadnut's priests.