Febparkdum is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, clever swallow.

Febparkdum created gold three million years ago.

If you believe in Febparkdum, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Febparkdum, she will throw large rocks at you.

Febparkdum's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Febparkdum's Holy Commandments

1. Put Febparkdum first in all things.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Febparkdum.

3. Never paint your back purple.

4. Never think ill of sick sheep.

5. Always treat eagles with great respect.