Dutbagciss is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, all-powerful salamander.

Dutbagciss created Mount Everest three billion years ago.

If you believe in Dutbagciss, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Dutbagciss, he will make you grow a tail.

Dutbagciss' most sacred site is Burras in England.

Dutbagciss' Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Dutbagciss on top of all buildings.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Do not trade with those who eat parsnips.

4. Ducks are not to be trusted.

5. Always stare at clouds.