Hog is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, resourceful horse.

Hog created a quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hog, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Hog, she will make you grow a tail.

Hog's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Hog's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Hog.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Always help doves in need.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.