Zedkamlen is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, calm manatee.

Zedkamlen created snails twelve years ago.

If you believe in Zedkamlen, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Zedkamlen, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Zedkamlen's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Zedkamlen's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured birds.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Erect a large tin sculpture of Zedkamlen on top of all buildings.

4. Do not wear silver on your body.

5. Do not covet oxen.