Yamlinlip Fobnuttaf is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, compassionate donkey.

Yamlinlip Fobnuttaf created dark energy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yamlinlip Fobnuttaf, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Yamlinlip Fobnuttaf, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Yamlinlip Fobnuttaf's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Yamlinlip Fobnuttaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not bounce in public.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Do not trade with those who eat onions.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

5. Bats are unholy and should not be approached.