Tunnillhit is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, self-assured tapir.

Tunnillhit created everything that exists nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Tunnillhit, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Tunnillhit, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Tunnillhit's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Tunnillhit's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your neck mauve.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Never mention great tits.