Cissbimbop is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, two-faced scorpion.

Cissbimbop created oxygen eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cissbimbop, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Cissbimbop, she will boil you in a big pot.

Cissbimbop's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Cissbimbop's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not kill goats.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Always treat otters with great respect.

5. Never write about gravity.