Kikveenquim is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, sage squid.

Kikveenquim created a bottom quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kikveenquim, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Kikveenquim, he will turn you into a puffin.

Kikveenquim's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Kikveenquim's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about gravity.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Kikveenquim loves great tits, so they must be respected.

5. Do not drink alcohol.