Gatlunquamwaplencinnartflam is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, witless troll.

Gatlunquamwaplencinnartflam created everything that exists eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Gatlunquamwaplencinnartflam, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Gatlunquamwaplencinnartflam, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Gatlunquamwaplencinnartflam's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Gatlunquamwaplencinnartflam's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always wear orange.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Run away if six sheep approach from the west.

5. Do not listen to music.