Witjarnlip is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, awesome dolphin.

Witjarnlip created an electron eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Witjarnlip, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Witjarnlip, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Witjarnlip's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Witjarnlip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your head.

2. Do not eat grapes.

3. Hide if eight otters approach from the east.

4. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

5. Never eat green fruit.