Sawteentifdissmapfarnkik is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, uncaring shrew.

Sawteentifdissmapfarnkik created dark matter twelve years ago.

If you believe in Sawteentifdissmapfarnkik, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Sawteentifdissmapfarnkik, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Sawteentifdissmapfarnkik's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Sawteentifdissmapfarnkik's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if three dolphins approach from the east.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Do not wear purple clothing.

4. Sawteentifdissmapfarnkik must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Put Sawteentifdissmapfarnkik first in all things.