Rapteenlad is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, generous mole.

Rapteenlad created gold twelve years ago.

If you believe in Rapteenlad, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Rapteenlad, he will curse you with boils.

Rapteenlad's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Rapteenlad's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. You must never eat tomatoes.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never mention porpoises.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.