Rilbudnigdit is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, amazing tapir.

Rilbudnigdit created humankind six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rilbudnigdit, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Rilbudnigdit, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Rilbudnigdit's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Rilbudnigdit's Holy Commandments

1. Pigs are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Always make sure there are no birds in a building before entering it.

5. Hide if three doves approach from the north.