Sigfonfar is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, merciful wren.

Sigfonfar created an up quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Sigfonfar, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Sigfonfar, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Sigfonfar's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Sigfonfar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Sigfonfar's name in vain.

2. Never write about gravity.

3. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Sigfonfar on top of all buildings.

4. Sigfonfar loves capybaras, so they must be respected.

5. Never mention cats.