Fubqueegbif Omtpinfod is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, intelligent clam.

Fubqueegbif Omtpinfod created the Cigar Galaxy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fubqueegbif Omtpinfod, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Fubqueegbif Omtpinfod, she will turn you into a plant.

Fubqueegbif Omtpinfod's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Fubqueegbif Omtpinfod's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never talk about amino acids.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Run away from fawn aardvarks, for they are unholy.