Hapzagmidcub is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, contented sheep.

Hapzagmidcub created the Large Magellanic Cloud two million years ago.

If you believe in Hapzagmidcub, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Hapzagmidcub, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Hapzagmidcub's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Hapzagmidcub's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about geese.

2. Hide if five ants approach from the south.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Run away from purple seals, for they are unholy.

5. Never write about planets.