Govbamwanpas is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, tranquil slug.

Govbamwanpas created a Higgs boson two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Govbamwanpas, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Govbamwanpas, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Govbamwanpas' most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Govbamwanpas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.