Siscipcap is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, egotistical tortoise.

Siscipcap created dark matter five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Siscipcap, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Siscipcap, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Siscipcap's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Siscipcap's Holy Commandments

1. Swans are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Always help whales in need.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate pigs.