Sitqueeg is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, compassionate tortoise.

Sitqueeg created dark energy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sitqueeg, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Sitqueeg, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Sitqueeg's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Sitqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Always help goats.

2. Hide from cyan pigs for they are unholy.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Always treat badgers with great respect.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.