Lakratmif is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, self-assured rhinoceros.

Lakratmif created the planet Earth twelve years ago.

If you believe in Lakratmif, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Lakratmif, she will think nothing of it.

Lakratmif's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Lakratmif's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

3. Lakratmif must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Lakratmif loves dolphins, so they must be respected.

5. Never talk about black holes.