Hudpak is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, sage armadillo.

Hudpak created Asia eight million years ago.

If you believe in Hudpak, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Hudpak, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Hudpak's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Hudpak's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt goats.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Hudpak loves birds, so they must be honoured.

5. Always help seals.