Quambonbatgat is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, calm narwhal.

Quambonbatgat created a quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quambonbatgat, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Quambonbatgat, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Quambonbatgat's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Quambonbatgat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Do not wear zinc on your body.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.