Flap Loopwiplag Labstafleg is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, prudent dog.

Flap Loopwiplag Labstafleg created a photon seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flap Loopwiplag Labstafleg, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Flap Loopwiplag Labstafleg, she will turn you into a snail.

Flap Loopwiplag Labstafleg's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Flap Loopwiplag Labstafleg's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into green rooms.

2. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Flap Loopwiplag Labstafleg.

5. Never sing in the presence of goats.