Futguphot is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, boastful human.

Futguphot created a photon seven million years ago.

If you believe in Futguphot, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Futguphot, he will turn you into a duck.

Futguphot's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Futguphot's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat lemons.

2. You must never eat strawberries.

3. Do not eat cucumbers.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Retreat if eight cats approach from the west.