Parkhaparn Nellmipvagcuss is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, moody crane.

Parkhaparn Nellmipvagcuss created the planet Jupiter five million years ago.

If you believe in Parkhaparn Nellmipvagcuss, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Parkhaparn Nellmipvagcuss, he will turn you into a sheep.

Parkhaparn Nellmipvagcuss' most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Parkhaparn Nellmipvagcuss' Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Parkhaparn Nellmipvagcuss on top of all buildings.

2. Feed all hungry bats.

3. Never hurt seals.

4. Porpoises are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not drink alcohol.