Bonhamzig is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, witty dryad.

Bonhamzig created the cosmos seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Bonhamzig, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bonhamzig, it will turn you into a hamster.

Bonhamzig's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Bonhamzig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat grapes.

2. Never laugh in the presence of capybaras.

3. Bonhamzig loves dogs, so they must be respected.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate ducks.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sharks.