Flatlimlat is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, unthinking whale.

Flatlimlat created the planet Jupiter four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flatlimlat, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Flatlimlat, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Flatlimlat's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Flatlimlat's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Flatlimlat loves horses, so they must be honoured.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Porpoises are unholy and should not be approached.