Arfbellgut is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, ruthless bird.

Arfbellgut created an electron three million years ago.

If you believe in Arfbellgut, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Arfbellgut, he will refuse to believe in you.

Arfbellgut's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Arfbellgut's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Always look after injured ants.

3. Hide if nine nematodes approach from the west.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never play with disobedient children.