Gebkonqueeg is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, egotistical jaguar.

Gebkonqueeg created the universe nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gebkonqueeg, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Gebkonqueeg, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Gebkonqueeg's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Gebkonqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt dolphins.

2. Run away from red mites, for they are unholy.

3. Always help sick frogs.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

5. Always help foxes.