Yartparkbad is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, all-knowing crow.

Yartparkbad created dark matter seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yartparkbad, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Yartparkbad, it will jump up and down on your head.

Yartparkbad's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Yartparkbad's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the south.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate turtles.

5. Yartparkbad loves grasshopers, so they must be honoured.