Canmobmapsog is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, unjust guinea pig.

Canmobmapsog created viruses eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Canmobmapsog, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Canmobmapsog, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Canmobmapsog's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Canmobmapsog's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in the presence of porpoises.

2. You must never eat pineapples.

3. Never think about black holes.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Canmobmapsog on top of all buildings.