Stanwonbot is a god.

It takes the form of a small, irritating goose.

Stanwonbot created the planet Mars eight million years ago.

If you believe in Stanwonbot, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Stanwonbot, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Stanwonbot's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Stanwonbot's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured great tits.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Stanwonbot.

3. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not eat carrots.