Paklitnurl is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, kind wyrm.

Paklitnurl created gold five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Paklitnurl, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Paklitnurl, he will try to impress you with trees.

Paklitnurl's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Paklitnurl's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Paklitnurl.

3. Never talk about monkeys.

4. Never hurt capybaras.

5. Do not drink water in blue rooms.